No matter what anyone tells you, everyday bravery is not like going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. It is more of a choice to carry on when all of the faucets are leaking and there aren’t any plumbers around. After eleven years in the same place, we sold some of our worldly goods (not enough, but some), packed the rest, and drove nearly 500 miles to call a new place home, and nothing is the same as it was before.
I am in the midst of a leaky faucet situation, and I’ll be honest with you: I haven’t chosen courage yet. My precipice – my own personal Niagara Falls, if you will – is about whether I will choose to sulk and turn inward in the midst of a great many changes, or persevere despite them.
My story right now is not that of a brave woman/mother/wife rising above to conquer her challenges. This is about me, wallowing in self pity while my husband touts the benefits of his dream job on Facebook: posting pictures of his new “colleagues” (a herd of bison), amazing commute (through the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota) and fantastic underground caving adventures. While he lives his National Park dreams, I am picking up the house, picking up the kids and picking up the pieces to try to fit them into our new life while working full time from home. And our new life? Feels like his new life in the great outdoors and my new life with the kids. By myself. Because his dream job is over an hour away from home and someone has to keep our lives running while he follows his bliss.
I don’t have answers, just questions: How does a woman like myself keep calm and carry on with courage? How do I let go of the resentment I feel that the kids and I are left behind and left out of what was supposed to be a family adventure? And how do I explain how I am feeling to my husband in a way he will understand: I don’t want him to give up his dreams. I simply want him to be a bigger part of our family’s daily lives, and to appreciate me for managing things on the home front so he can pursue his career dreams.
This is most certainly a testing point, and I’m hoping I can muster the courage to thrive instead of just survive in this season of change.
How about you, dear reader?
Do you have a Niagara Falls or leaky faucet to be courageous about?
Alice Goes to Motherland 
Cheers! You’ve taken another step on the road to putting life back on an even keel. You are facing your frustrations head on and sharing instead of internalizing the pain the situation is causing you. I believe this will work out and I’m praying for you and your family for guidance as this new life unfolds, one…day….at….a….time.